One of my favorite family holiday memories is from a large family gathering. Our oldest daughter was probably four then (she is now 24). The entire Adams family had converged on an evening of celebration. As part of the celebration, children were asked to gather around a speaker. As the speaker was talking to the children I caught a glimpse of my daughter dressed in her most beautiful holiday clothing looking intently at the speaker soaking everything in. I remember goosebumps taking over my skin and tears filling my eyes. In the spirit of the holidays, at that moment I realized the great gift bestowed upon me, children.
During the holidays, a lot of emphasis is placed on giving and receiving gifts. For me personally, the hustle and bustle of the holidays can have the unfortunate effect of putting me in auto-pilot mode as I seek to observe my wife crossing off items on whatever checklists are demanding her attention at the moment while asking my input. What I appreciate most during the winter break is the time I’m provided to deliberately break out of auto-pilot mode and connect at a deeper level with my wife and four children. This protected time allows us to embed new traditions and more meaningful conversations into our family’s rituals.
The possibility of purging traditions that may be competing for our attention on “what really matters to us” is a true gift. In a similar vein, there are gifts that we can bestow that will make a difference for our children long after the luster of a new Barbie or the new Harry Potter trivia game wears off (don’t get me wrong, I love Harry Potter). The gift of time is one such gift. With the increasing demands on families’ schedules, I understand that it may not be possible to increase the number of minutes that parents have available to be present (pun intended) with their children. What we can do is leverage those minutes by setting aside our handheld devices and engaging with children via conversation, play, and one-on-one time. Integrating concepts like respect, responsibility, mathematical thinking, etc. into authentic real-life interactions is a powerful learning tool. At the risk of being vulnerable, I’ll share a personal story.
When my son Gable was 4 years old (he is now 19) my wife called me and informed me of a conversation she had with him. He had said he was worried about the fact that I may not be proud of him because he doesn’t wrestle. To put this into perspective I am a huge amateur wrestling advocate (not WWF). This information jolted me upright and provided me with careful reflection. At that point, my son did not realize what a great gift he was to me, and that, wrestler or not, I loved him dearly. At that point, I made it a priority of mine to let him know what gifts he had that truly made me proud of him. I consistently told him how proud I was of him for his gifts to do mathematics and make friendships. This story also catapulted me to recognize the great gifts my other children and wife had.
I certainly don’t share these side stories to imply that I was doing or am doing the parent or gift thing better than anyone else. Truth be told, I am not. My intention is to engage in a continuing dialogue about what we can do collectively to support student learning and provide all students with the opportunities and skills that will help them make important decisions later in their lives. Sometimes this is as simple as taking a step back to reevaluate priorities and routines, affirming what matters, and pursuing new goals. The best gifts often manifest themselves as opportunities in our daily lives. What we do with these gifts is up to us.
On behalf of the entire Willmar Public Schools staff, we wish you the happiest of holidays. May you discover your true gifts this season and enjoy a relaxing and enriching break.
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