Building a Culture of Dignity: One Interaction at a Time

At the Fall MASA Conference, we had the privilege of hearing from Tamy Pyfer and Karren Pyfer-Minalga on a topic that could not be more relevant to our lives and work: The Dignity Index and how it can improve school culture. Their message was both timely and timeless, reminding us of the power we each hold to build up or break down the relationships around us.

They began by exploring a force that is becoming increasingly common in society: contempt. Contempt manifests in various ways, including dismissing others as not worth our time, assuming negative motives, calling people names, attacking their character, or categorizing them into groups with broad, harmful generalizations. It erodes public discourse, but its impact doesn’t stop there. Contempt damages families, friendships, workplaces, and schools. And when contempt seeps into a relationship, something crucial happens: we lose sight of the other person’s positive qualities entirely.

But there is an alternative, a powerful one. If contempt tears us apart, dignity brings us back together.

The presenters defined dignity as “the mutual recognition of the desire to be seen, heard, listened to, and treated fairly; to be recognized, understood, and to feel safe in the world.” It is something every human being longs for. It transcends every demographic difference. It is, in many ways, a universal truth: we all want to be treated with dignity.

And just as contempt has identifiable behaviors, so does dignity. Treating someone with dignity looks like:

• Offering care and attention

• Ensuring all voices feel free to speak

• Listening to their experiences

• Giving them the benefit of the doubt

• Helping them feel they belong

• Acknowledging their strengths, gifts, and accomplishments

As one speaker said, “Dignity: I see myself in you.”

We were reminded that firefighters don’t fight fire with fire. Likewise, responding to contempt with more contempt only fuels the flames. Instead, dignity invites us to choose a better path, a path that defuses, disarms, and starts to rebuild trust.

One of the most meaningful takeaways from the session was the emphasis on the Dignity Index, which outlines eight levels of response, ranging from the most contemptuous to the most dignifying. Level 8 is the highest expression of dignity: seeing the humanity in others, even when we disagree, and choosing connection over division.

Reaching Level 8 is not about perfection. It’s about practice.

It’s about taking responsibility for our own behavior, our reactions, our tone, our assumptions, our words. And if each of us commits to raising our own level of dignity, then brick by brick, interaction by interaction, we can strengthen the culture of our classrooms, buildings, district, community, state, country, and world.

Imagine what becomes possible when the default expectation, at school, at home, and online, is dignity.

As we move forward, may we all reflect on where we are today and where we aspire to be. The path to Level 8 begins with a single choice: choosing dignity in the next interaction.

To learn more about the Dignity Index and explore helpful tools and resources, visit www.dignity.us.